So Close,Yet So Far....

I rarely watch prime time television – in fact, I rarely watch network television at all, with the exception of a few shows I follow on Hulu Plus. But earlier this week, after a crazy day and having just gotten my kids to bed, I collapsed on the couch and flipped on the TV. As I scrolled through the guide, I ran across a new show called “The New Normal”. Now, if you aren’t familiar with it, the basic plot line is that a single, never married mother of a 9 or 10 year old daughter has decided to be a surrogate mom for a gay couple. Kind-of a “Modern Family” meets “Gilmore Girls”, with a baby thrown in.  

So for some reason I paused on the listing and noticed that the title of the episode was, “The Godparent Trap”, and hit the “Info” button on my remote. The description said that the couple, Brian and David, is on a search to find Godparents for their baby, which prompts Brian to try to reconnect to his Catholic roots by visiting a church where he gets some unexpected advice. OK, now I was intrigued. A prime time sitcom about a same-sex couple was going to send one of them into a Catholic Church for advice on Godparents?? The first thought that ran through my mind was, “Oh no, here we go, more Catholic bashing in the popular media”, but a part of me hoped it would be different, so I decided to watch. And I am glad I did.

Now, I don’t want to oversell the message delivered in this episode – it was far from perfect, but there were a couple of extraordinary moments that got me thinking.

The first was a scene where Brain walks into the church, genuflects before the crucifix and has a seat in a pew. You proceed to hear his inner monologue as he glances around the sanctuary, finishing with him saying to the crucified Christ, “You know who judges me? Your Father.” This is immediately followed by a young priest tapping him on the shoulder and asking if he is there for Confession.

Inside the confessional, Brian starts giving a snarky and flippant “Confession” – which the priest quickly calls him on and tells him that if he isn’t going to take it seriously, then he can go. This causes Brian to alter his approach significantly, leading him to reveal that he is gay and there because, “I don’t think I can find spiritual foundation in others if I can’t even find it in myself.” It is a beautiful moment of honesty that leads into a spirited conversation between the priest and Brian about his homosexuality and the Church.

Now, without recounting word for word the entire scene, I want to point out a couple of key things that happened that made this so close to being the best representation of the Church’s belief about same-sex attraction that I have ever seen on TV, and also where is falls incredibly short of this achievement.

The first is that when Brian reveals that he is gay, the priest responds by saying, “Well, contrary to popular opinion, being gay is not a sin. The Church is not anti-gay.” This stopped me in my tracks! I was amazed and so excited that someone had finally gotten it right! Here it was, on prime time, an actor depicting a Roman Catholic Priest actually stating the true teaching of the Church – being gay, or having same-sex attraction, is NOT a sin! Alleluia! Sadly, this elation was short lived.

Brian immediately challenges the priest’s statement by asking why the Pope treats gay marriage “like Amanda Bynes treats pedestrians”, and instead of using this as a moment to explain the Church’s teaching on marriage, the priest instead dismisses the Pope by comparing him to a “loveable old uncle who pops off intolerant comments at a family barbeque”. Ouch. And so far from true. This was the moment I almost lost all hope for this episode, because it had gone from so right to SO SO WRONG.

A  couple of points here…

1. The Pope is not an intolerant old man. Old maybe….but intolerant? Absolutely not. And I took GREAT offense to a writer portraying a priest as holding that opinion of the Holy Father.

2. There is a huge, and very important, difference between being gay and the issue of gay marriage in the eyes of the Church.  More on this in a bit, but the point here is that insinuate that the Pope, or the Church as a whole, is indifferent and dismissive of this sensitive issue is unfair.

OK, back to the show…the conversation then turns to Brian talking about his love for the Church – for the ritual, the tradition, even the Stations of the Cross, and ending with him saying, “But you guys don’t accept me, so what am I supposed to do, Father? I mean, you tell me, where do I go?” A question I am sure many gay Catholics are asking themselves, especially if they misunderstand the Church’s true teaching.

Brian rejects the priest’s subsequent recommendation that he find a church geared to the homosexual population, and asks, “Why can’t the Church be accepting of all people?” to which the priest responds, “We are. We embrace everyone just like Jesus.” AH! Another miracle! The Church’s teachings on unconditional love displayed on prime time!!! YAY!

Of course, this is met with some challenge from Brian, who says that Jesus would not judge someone based on his sexuality, because Jesus loved everyone, causing the priest to launch into a passionate monologue about how Jesus was not a “blissed out hippy” but rather a radical force for change. It is a great moment that, once again, posed the perfect opportunity for the writers to illuminate the true teachings of the Church, but sadly, they wimped out.

Instead of challenging Brian with the true teachings, the priest essentially tells him that if he, and enough others, fights hard enough the Church will change and accept same-sex marriage. Once again, a golden opportunity missed.

It seems to me that the writer’s just didn’t have the courage to take this all the way. They stopped just short of real truth and instead presented a “PC” version of Catholicism to the masses. Because here’s the truth – the Church is not going to change. Nor should it.

You see, when you get right down to it, the Church is not asking any more of people with same-sex attraction than it is of unmarried, heterosexual couples, or the consecrated men and women of the Church, including our priests. And that is chastity.  

Because as Catholics, we recognize that sex is not about the desires of the flesh, but rather the desires of God. It is a beautiful gift that He has given us in order to be participants in His life-giving power. That is why we do not believe in birth control, either. Because when you put up any barrier between the sexual act and the ability for that act to result in a new life being created, you are misusing this gift from God. And God established the Sacrament of marriage as the holy union in which life was to be created and raised.

That is the heart of the Church’s stance on gay marriage, contraception, premarital sex, adultery, and masturbation. It all comes down to one thing – sex is intended to be a life-giving event, and using it in any other way is unholy.

But here is the other big thing to hold onto – the sin of engaging in homosexual sexual activity is no greater or worse than the sin of engaging in premarital sex – or the sin of a married couple using birth control. In the eyes of God, it is all equal.

So to say that the Church “rejects” people because they have same sex attraction, or even because they fall to that sin, would also be to say that the Church rejects people who have sex before marriage, or use birth control, or fall to any other sin – in other words, it would be to say that the Church rejects ALL people. And I am pretty sure that I know the Bible well enough to be confident when I say that Jesus did not teach that.

Do we need to be better about showing unconditional love to people with same-sex attraction? Yes. Are we perfect and always handle discussions about this very personal and sensitive topic correctly? No, of course not.

But I think we can all stop and take a lesson from the closing scene of this episode of “The New Normal” – in it, Brian is back in the pews, and the priest comes up and speaks to him. Brian asks if it is alright if he comes to Mass once in a while, and the priest responds by saying, “I would love to see you at Mass….you and your family.” That is what the Church is. Unconditional love. Not unconditional acceptance of sin, but unconditional love of the sinners.  All of us.

The 4 A's

I was talking with a fellow youth minister recently and he mentioned having been at a youth ministry conference this summer (yes, we are such GIANT youth ministry nerds that we actually go to conferences to talk about it and learn how to love our AMAZING teens better! =) ). At this conference, he heard a speaker talk about how society at large is concerned with what he called, "The 4 A's" - Academics, Athletics, Appearance, and the Arts.

Wow, that really rings true to me when I stop and think about it for a minute. Conversations I have with you guys frequently involve talking about a few, if not all, of these topics.

So many of you are stressed out by school obligations and feel an immense pressure to perform well in the academic world because everyone is telling you that you have to get into a good college in order to "succeed" in life.

Many of you are on multiple sports teams or deeply committed to playing a particular sport, some purely out of love for the game, some because of dreams of getting a scholarship and/or becoming a professional athlete, some because it make a good line on you college applications and many for several or all of these reasons . And those of you who are not are often passionate followers of a professional team or athlete - often influenced by their perceived value or worth in the popular culture.

Everywhere we look, we are told that appearance and value go hand in hand. The "pretty people" are portrayed as being happier, more successful, more worthwhile and valued as humans. We see this played out on TV, in movies, in books, ads....basically everywhere!

And all you have to do is think about how much money the entertainment industry rakes in every year to see the importance we place on the arts. Singers, musicians, and actors are among the highest paid people in our culture (along with professional athletes...another of the "A's"). We dedicate countless websites, magazines and news programs to following the escapades and lives of these people, not to mention the dozens of reality shows aimed at finding the next great singer, performer, or model.

Now, I want to be clear about something - none of these things are bad. None of them are inherently evil or destructive. They are all, in fact, at their root, about people using the talents and skills that God has graced them with, and that is a good thing! The deciding factor, really, is what priority do these things play in your life? Are you able to engage in the "4 A's" and still keep your life in right order - with God at the top of the list, family next, and all of these other things falling somewhere lower down?

Because not only are the "4 A's" examples of people using their gifts and talents - they are actually all things that God himself has celebrated through out all of time - and He speaks about ALL of them in the Scriptures! Let's take a look...

Academics: "That people may know wisdom and discipline, may understand intelligent sayings; May receive instruction in wise conduct, in what is right, just and fair; That resourcefulness may be imparted to the naive, knowledge and discretion to the young. The wise by hearing them will advance in learning, the intelligent will gain sound guidance,To comprehend proverb and byword, the words of the wise and their riddles. Fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and discipline." Proverbs 1:1-7

Athletics: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith. " Hebrews 12:1-2

Appearance: "You are all beautiful, my beloved, and there is no blemish in you" Song of Songs 4:7

Arts: "Sing a new song to the LORD, who has done marvelous deeds, Whose right hand and holy arm have won the victory.The LORD has made his victory known; has revealed his triumph for the nations to see, Has remembered faithful love toward the house of Israel. All the ends of the earth have seen the victory of our God. Shout with joy to the LORD, all the earth; break into song; sing praise. Sing praise to the LORD with the harp, with the harp and melodious song. With trumpets and the sound of the horn shout with joy to the King, the LORD. Let the sea and what fills it resound, the world and those who dwell there. Let the rivers clap their hands, the mountains shout with them for joy, Before the LORD who comes, who comes to govern the earth, To govern the world with justice and the peoples with fairness." Psalm 98

Now these are just four examples among many where we can hear God celebrating the "4 A's" throughout Scriptures! Want to read more? Just type in "Bible verses about _________" into Bing!

I think that by remembering that the "4 A's" were in fact created AND celebrated by God Himself is important - because then we can keep in the forefront of our minds that engaging in our culture does not mean disengaging with God, or vice-versa - it just means making sure that we engage in the "4 A's" in a way that brings glory and praise to God, and keeps our priorities and lives pointed to Christ.

Get to know your Core Team!

We had a great time at the kick-off night last night - and as part of it, we played a game called Core Bingo in which teens had to match crazy facts with the right Core member. We did not have time to get though all the fun facts, so I promised to list them all here! Enjoy!

Core Fun Facts

Blair

1.      I have a Beta fish named Fish Stick Midnight Snack

2.      I've been to 6 countries outside the US

3.      my favorite colors are pink, red, and yellow

4.      I love going to concerts 

5.      went to 13 years of Catholic school

6.      one day I want to open my own cafe

7.      I studied German for 7 years

8.      my favorite veggie is broccoli 

9.      I love chocolate and peanut butter- especially Reese's!

Del

1.      I have a black belt in Karate

2.      I am a published author (sounds cooler than it actually is... I have about a dozen papers published in scientific conferences and journals)

3.      I worked on contract for the Department of National Defence (yes, that is the way you spell it. It is not "Defense" because it is Canadian)

4.      I have given talks in San Jose, Santa Fe, Montreal, Toronto, and Madrid (Spain)

5.      I got my first grey (yes, "grey", not "gray") hair at the age of 11

6.      I do not have a middle name

7.      I was the vice president of my university's pro life club

8.      I bought myself a drum kit so that I would be forced to learn to play drums... and yes, I did learn how to play them.

9.  I wish that I could play violin, but I cannot.

 

10. I am from a city with the same name as one of our Core members

Victoria:

1.      Is fluent in American Sign Language

2.      Went to college at a school that looked like Hogwarts

3.      Lived in Japan for 3 years

4.      Just moved here from Virginia in July

5.      Has never been camping (Due to fear of spiders, bears, mountain lions, Sasquatch ect...) 

6.      Thinks Doctor Who is the greatest TV show of all time (Would also like their own Tardis as form of personal transportation)

7.      Loves all things Harry Potter related

8.      Has 4 older sisters

9.      Favorite band of all time is Mumford & Sons

10.  Favorite place in the world is Saint Peter's Square in Vatican City at night

Amanda

1.      Has a tattoo

2.      Grew up in Las Vegas

3.      Ate sea urchin straight out of the ocean

4.      Has cooked mussels in the hot springs on a thermal beach in New Zealand

5.      Favorite book is To Kill A Mockingbird

6.      Has parasailed upside-down

7.      Won a state championship in volleyball

8.      Got my first gray hair at 13

9.      Loves to cook Indian food from scratch

10.  Got a broken foot by kicking a while when angry

Cathleen

1.      Is half polish

2.      Wants to grow up to be a dolphin trainer

3.      Has 23 first cousins

4.      Aunt is the librarian at Seattle Prep

5.      Has had a board game themed birthday party two years in a row (the last two years)

6.      Is on team Peeta .. but not movie Peeta, book Peeta

7.      Got a hole in one at try outs for the golf team junior year. ... yeah she made the team. 

8.      Pulled the sword out of the stone in Disneyland when i was five

9.      Has a plastic goose named Duck "guarding" my front door

10.  Was voted "best laugh" in high school

Emily

1.      I was born in the pumpkin capital of the world

2.      I almost blew up my house when I was 5

3.      I still own and snuggle with my childhood teddy bear

4.      I graduated with a BA in Catholic Studies

5.      My favorite virtue is meekness

6.      I love to knit and bake

7.      I have participated in service immersions in Kenya and El Salvador

8.      I grew up singing and dancing in musical theatre productions

9.      I protested in front of the White House with the DC Catholic Workers

10.  I lived in Chicago for 4 years before moving to Seattle. 

John

1.      Tried to dye his hair blonde but it turned a nasty orange color for his Senior year ASB card picture

2.      Got 2^nd is state for a dart league

3.      Has ½ brothers and sisters he has never met

4.      Ate dinner on the US Middway Battleship

5.      Was held by Ronald Regan and thought his nose was weird and his feet were huge

6.      Does not use deodorant – only used it in Junior High because it was “cool”.

 

7.    12 year molars did not come in until he was in high school

 

8.    Has 2 middle names

 

9.    Played footfall in Dallas Cowdoys stadium and kicked a field goal

 

What a bunch of wierdos! Haha!!!! Just kidding! I love them all!!! Actually, I think they are EXTRAORDINARY!!!

 

Welcome to the Year of Faith!

WOW!! It has been a while since I actually posted something here! I totally apologize and have every intention of changing that this year! It is my goal to have a new post up every Thursday - so keep checking back! And I figured this was the perfect Thursday to launch this new committment as today we welcome in The Year of Faith as declared by Pope Benedict!

Now, I have to be honest with you - when I saw that the theme for this year was "The Year of Faith", my mind did a little hiccup, and I thought, "Wait a minute....shouldn't EVERY year be a year of faith? Isn't that what we are supposed to be doing every day, every week, every month, and every year - living a LIFE of Faith? And of course, the answer to that is a resounding "YES!!!!".

So what's with this whole "official" Year of Faith thing than? Why do we need a special year for faith if, as Catholic Christians, we are called to live our faith all the time?

When I stopped to think about it, what I realized was that having a Year of Faith is not so much a comment on our faith as it is a comment on our culture because we live in a media driven world that has, for the most part, turned away from God.

Popular culture today screams to us that what matters, what is valuable and what makes you worthy is wealth, fame, money, beauty, success, power...the material success and transient possessions of the world. And that the "right" thing to do is whatever feels good to you, whatever gets you what you want or desire or makes you happy. That it is nobody's business what you do, say, think or feel - that your truth is your truth and no one has the right to tell you anything different. That objective truth doesn't exist. That this life is what you make of it, so you'd better make the most of it.

But at the same time, Jesus screams to us that what matters, what is valuable and what makes you worthy is simply the fact that you exist, that you are a child of God, that you are loved....the spiritual and eternal things of the Kingdom of God. He says that the right thing to do is whatever is for the benefit of others, that serves the poor and vulnerable, that is sacraficial and unselfish and makes others, and God, happy. That it is His business what you do, say, think or feel - becuase it is His truth that will bring you true happiness and radical joy. That He is Truth and is real. That you have been given this life to honor and glorify God with.

Now, those are radically different views. And as we celebrate the 50th anniversary of the opening of the Second Vatican Council, they stand in very stark contrast to each other. Because in the last 50 years, what has changed is not our faith, what has changed is our culture.

So by calling us to celebrate the Year of Faith, the Holy Father is not calling us to simply do what we have, or perhaps have not, been doing, but rather he is calling us to be a new, brighter, stronger and louder voice for Christ in our world. He is calling us to commit anew, or perhaps for the first time, to turning away from the lies of the world and to the Truth of the Cross - and then to bring that Truth into the world in love, hope, peace and charity.

It is my prayer for all of us in this Year of Faith that we can grow in our personal faith, and be a light to those in our lives who do not know Him. Let this be a year of Faith not just for our Church, but for the entire world.